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Monday, December 19, 2005

There's No Sexy in Christmas!

I like to think of myself as a bit avant garde, not as a stodgy forty-year-old. As for traditional, I’ve run far and fast from that word ever since I realized that it has become an excuse for some Christians to operate under law instead of grace.

As part of our music ministry, our motto has been. "God is doing a new thing!" We therefore encourage our youth to create or learn raps or contemporary Christian songs that uplift the Savior. I take pride in the fact that I am able to hang with teens without embarrassing myself or them--so I was caught a bit off guard at what I discovered about myself yesterday.

I spent the day at home yesterday--a strange occurrence for me on a Sunday, I’ll admit. I'd received a massage courtesy of one of my bosses--a gift she provides for the HR Department every year. I'd partaken last year and walked on air for days afterward.

Primed by my previous experience, I tripped happily into my seat and after figuring out the logistics of placement for the bountiful gifts of God I carry before me daily, we were off!

The masseuse had instrumental Christmas songs playing to which I hummed happily. She was even impressed that I knew the lyrics to "When A Child is Born."

As she rubbed and kneaded, I all but purred until she got to a certain spot in my back, to which my yelp, required verification of "Did that hurt?" and my response,


"Well we don't want to put too much pressure on it, but we need to work it out. (We who?) Do you have back problems?" she asked.

"No, not really,” I replied, then I corrected myself by adding, "Only once a month, but not there...there." I said as I reached back to pinpoint my waist area.

"Hmmm...okay." She said and proceeded to do her thing.


"Alrighty, all done!” she said as her voice jarred me out of my dazed euphoria. “Don't be surprised if you feel a twinge or two, because a proper massage achieves the effect of exercise."

"Oh...okay, " I said blithely and floated back to my desk, a bit disgruntled that I couldn't curl up and take a nap, but had to continue work. (By then it's 2:00 p.m. on a Friday afternoon).

By 5:00 p.m. as I climb into my co-worker's car for the short ride to the mall where I catch the bus home, I began to notice the beginning of the “few twinges”.

Let me tell you…

On Saturday morning a sister spent the day running from the computer, to the bathroom, to the kitchen to the bed. I was dopey, sleepy and sneezy dwarfs all rolled into one.

I knew I'd had a rough week, pulling two late nights at work and just generally tense from the workload...but this was ridiculous!

I went to bed on Saturday thinking; well this should ease up tomorrow. NOT!

I woke up Sunday and bounded out of bed as I usually do, only to stop short, make an about face and carefully replace myself in my bed. The aches and pains had spread to every part of my body. Yes--even my feet and she hadn't even touched those!

Half an hour later, I carefully hobbled to the computer to do the church bulletins, after having advised my pastor that I wasn't making the long ride to New York from Pennsylvania for church that day.

Tired of the quiet in my room, I logged onto my computer and began playing Pop Launch via Yahoo.

How shall I put this gently? I can't! I have never heard such terrible renditions of Christmas songs or hymns in my life!

Song after song: Breathy, out of tune, uninspiring, and just trying so hard to be different, they made a mess of them.

As I listened further, I began to see a trend forming

Were they? Nah...
Could they be? Impossible!
I think they are--trying to infuse Christmas songs with sex!
I mean, I understand that sex sells everything from cars to toothpaste, but Christmas songs!?!?

I was dismayed. The closest example I could liken it to would be Tom Hanks’ coach character in “A League of Their Own” when he vociferously declared:

"There's no crying in baseball!"

To which I say,

"There's no sexy in Christmas!"

Christ Child--yes.
Three Wise Men--yes.

...but NO sexy!

I guess, I must be a bit more traditional than I thought...and in light of the context, that's not such a bad thing.


eph2810 said...

Well said my sister in faith. I wish people would stop taking Christ out of Christmas...period.
I do hope you feel better tonight. :)

Dee said...

Amen to that! Thanks, I am beginning to feel normal again.

Hillary said...

Hi Dee!

Wow, I was super confused for a while there, because I had seen this post somewhere else... it took me a few minutes to figure out that they're written by one and the same! Ha ha!

Great post, on BOTH locations!

Dee said...

Hi Hillary,

Sorry about the confusion! I have several blogs around the blogosphere.

And I'm currently compiling one giant blog with what I consider to be the best of all my blogs and that blog is Passion.