Dealing With Death - Part III

...Just byskimming through the articles, I felt better equipped; especially the one entitled “How to Help When You Don’t Know What to Say”. An inveterate talk-a-holic, death shuts me right up. Nothing comes to mind; well
some stuff does, but gets dismissed as stupid or trite nonsense. If like me, death renders you clueless, you might find the following helpful.

NOTE: Due to copyright infringement laws, I’m unable to display the articles in their entirety here, but I can hit you with the highlights. However, if you’d like a copy of any of the articles in their entirety, email me and I’ll be happy to forward.

What You Can Do For Others

To build upon what was said in Part II, "How to Help When You Don't Know What to Say?"

Again, this is one of the times when action speaks louder than words, so you can:--

Listen:
You can never go wrong with listening. Keep in mind that everyone's story is different so be sensitive to nuances so that your well meant intentions to help do not compound the situation. It is definitely not the time for "Girl, if you think that was bad, you should hear what happened to me!" It's not about you, nor is it the time to segue into a "who suffered more" comparison or a "Buck up, there are people suffering worse out there!" That'll get you put out of the house and all future invitions might just be met with, "I'm kind of busy right now, can I call you later?"

Reach Out:
Reaching out can take many forms. In personal or work related relationships it can be assuming some day to day responsibilites like babysitting, cleaning, cooking, etc. In the work arena it can be diverting some of the workload to yourself. It can be an invitation to lunch, arranging a support group, etc.

A good thing to remember is that you are no good to anyone else if you're falling apart yourself. So if you think you're going to be prostrate across the lap of the party you're supposed to be comforting, while they pat you on the shoulder...maybe you should send a card, flowers, your teenager for assistance with babysitting or household chores until you can be a support instead of a drain.

Peace,
Dee