Dealing With Death - Part II

...Just by skimming through the articles, I felt better equipped; especially the one entitled “How to Help When You Don’t Know What to Say”. An inveterate talk-a-holic, death shuts me right up. Nothing comes to mind; well some stuff does, but gets dismissed as stupid or trite nonsense. If like me, death renders you clueless, you might find the following helpful.

NOTE: Due to copyright infringement laws, I’m unable to display the articles in their entirety here, but I can hit you with the highlights. However, if you’d like a copy of any of the articles in their entirety, email me and I’ll be happy to forward.

How to Help When You Don’t Know What to Say?

Say nothing. Act!

You can:

Pray:
I’ve often heard people say “Prayer is the least I can do…” Wrong! It’s the most you can do. Certainly, it’s not tangible. Some have the need for their acts to be visible, but this is one of the times that it’s not about you. Just pray.

Listen:
They may just need someone to listen to them. No well meaning advice, but you can assure them that whatever is said to you in confidences will not be repeated.

Be available:
Emotionally—let them know that in your presence it’s okay to let go; and
Physically—A hug or a pat or the shoulder works wonders.

Reach out:
If you’re not close enough to visit set aside an uninterrupted time slot and choose a private spot for a phone call; or
Send a card or a note letting them know you’re thinking about them. Maybe invite them to lunch. (Don’t be surprised if you receive a refusal, be gracious and continue to reach out).