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Friday, June 17, 2005

I Received My Song Today

11:30 a.m.
I just received the mp3 of my first song written today via eMail. It was sung by the vocalist who will be singing it on the soundtrack. It was a bittersweet moment. No the deal didn’t fall through, as my ex-fiancĂ© and mom expected, (“Because this music thing never works out for you.”)

So what was the problem exactly? Well…she hadn’t sung it exactly as I did. And she’d changed the feel of the song. (How dare she? What was the demo tape for, if she just ups and makes it her own?) Doesn’t she know it’s my song! She just gets to sing it first…that’s all.

The insecure child in me immediately begins wondering, does she sound better than me? When I complete my CD and folks hear me singing it, will they say she did a better job? Should I even use it anymore since she’ll be recording it first?

What should I do? I can’t ask my family, ‘cause they just might lie.

Everyone knows how important firsties is. First is what it’s all about isn’t it? I mean, who lends stuff out before we’ve even used it first? It’s an unwritten law of society. “Thou shalt not give up the right to first use of your property.”

12:28 pm
Okay, I’ve listened to it about twelve times now and it’s really not bad. Different from my version, but it’s okay.

1:20 pm
Alright…it’s good. There I said it. It’s good!

I guess amidst the surprise of it not being a clone of my version and my minor disappointment that I wouldn’t be singing it for the soundtrack I temporarily lost sight of the big picture. Not only had I been requested to write this song expressly for this soundtrack, at the inception, it was made clear that I would not be the vocalist.

So how did it become about my ego? Quite easily. Anytime we take our eyes off our purpose (enlarging God’s Kingdom) we become prey to our emotions and desires.

Can I handle just taking credit as the songwriter? Heck yeah. Up until a month ago…I didn’t even know I had it in me to be a songwriter. And as to not being the first to sing the song I wrote. I’m thankful that anyone wants to sing it all, and most importantly, the sooner it is sung, the quicker it’s invitation to healing and restoration begins.

But what if my interpretation is better? So what? The many interpretations of the Bible increase not decrease it’s reach and appeal.

2:30 pm
Leaving work now and I’m content I worked through my angst. (But I still think my version, is better).

Peace,
Dee

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